Challenges ahead

Since leaving my last job in November and seeking proper help for my problems with depression and anxiety I have begun to feel a lot better. Yes, there have been days when I have still felt low, sick and tired, but in the main I have felt happy and positive. I have socialised more, made positive decisions about the future based on what I actually want to do and so things are looking up.

There are challenges ahead though. I want to get back into employment as soon as I can. I am fed up of relying on handouts from my wonderful parents and benefits from the government. I am also getting a bit bored at home, daytime TV really is awful! So tomorrow, I am going to see a consultant at the Employment Support Retraining Agency (ESRA) in Redhill.
While I am confident that I could find a job on my own I would like to know if there are any companies that actively support people with mental health conditions or if there are particular jobs that suit people with such a condition. Unfortunately, I am not good under pressure. I don't deal with it very well but with a failing economy businesses are often expecting employees to work harder than is possible. This was certainly the case at Total Gas and Power where my workload was so heavy I couldn't see myself ever clearing it. Because of my lack of confidence, I blamed myself for this situation and heaped even more pressure upon my shoulders until I could no longer carry on. Although Total were supportive when I revealed my condition and the trouble I was having managing my workload, they didn't take any steps to decrease it. They just tried to help me deal with it differently, but this did not work.
At ASDA, there was also pressure. Working in a major supermarket in the lead up to Christmas = BUSY!! Although I hadn't been there long, they started leaving me on my own on the Music and Video department. While I probably should have seen this as a vote of confidence, my thoughts instead turned to 'how will I cope?', 'what happens if things go wrong?'. But, not wanting ASDA to know about my problems, I once again bottled it up until things finally came to a head and I broke down.

Hopefully I can find a place of work where I can learn to rebuild my confidence slowly but surely, and then maybe one day I can thrive in a pressurised environment. I guess we will just have to wait and see...